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Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Locusts at the Gate Chapter 2: A New Name Chapter 3: The Capital Prepares Chapter 4: The Princess is Dead, Long Live the Princess Chapter 5: Outside the Gates Chapter 6: Inside the Black Tent Chapter 7: Surrender at the Temple Chapter 8: The Cult of the Locust Chapter 9: The Locust's Tenets of Faith Chapter 10: Mourners on the Cliff Chapter 11: The Eye of Betrayal Chapter 12: The Dead King's Bedchamber Chapter 13: The Arms of the Goddess Chapter 14: Zayaan of the Narim Chapter 15: The Eyes of the Priestess Chapter 16: A More Permanent Disguise Chapter 17: Tribute Chapter 18: Sacrifice of the New Moon Chapter 19: The Lost Bird Chapter 20: Manah and the Priestess Chapter 21: Desert Creatures Chapter 22: Become the Swarm Chapter 23 The Price of Betrayal Chapter 24: Life Under the Locust Chapter 25: Wild Rose Chapter 26: The Lady Wren Chapter 27: Thought and Desire Chapter 28: The Lady's Captivity Chapter 29: The Wine Maiden Chapter 30: End of Childhood Chapter 31: The Children of Aisha Chapter 32: The Forest Runner Chapter 33: Three Sisters Chapter 34: The Hunt Chapter 35: Bones in the Forest Chapter 36: Lullaby Chapter 37: The Hunter's Horn Chapter 38: Ways Between Ways Chapter 39: Morning Star Chapter 40: A Prophecy for Baraz Chapter 41: Equinox Fires Chapter 42: The Lord Prince Takri Chapter 43: Evening Star Sets Chapter 44: Chaos in the Courtyard Chapter 45: Dasha Chapter 46: Memories Chapter 47: The Body Slave Chapter 48: Caged Beasts Chapter 49: Message from the Capital Chapter 50: Heresiarch Chapter 51: The Color of Blood Chapter 52: Winter Winds Chapter 53: The Bookmaker's Closet Chapter 54: Wrapped in Dignity and Beauty Chapter 55: Vessel of the Goddess Chapter 56: Cracks in the Walls Chapter 57: Two Brothers Chapter 58: The Court of Women Chapter 59: Favored of the King Chapter 60: The Sweetest Fruit Chapter 61: Daughter of the Temple Chapter 62: A Nation of Bastards Chapter 63: The Lute Player Chapter 64: Aisha's Prayer Chapter 65: Promises Chapter 66: Lives Lost Chapter 67: The Tea Maker Chapter 68: Object of Desire Chapter 69: Empty Shelves Chapter 70: Darkness and Light Chapter 71: The Love of Men Chapter 72: The Cursed Ones Chapter 73: Hiding Places Chapter 74: Old Men's Tales Chapter 75: False Prophecies Chapter 76: The Lord Prince Radu Chapter 77: Love Becomes Life Chapter 78: Mistress and Mother Chapter 79: A Test of Strength Chapter 80: The Strigoi-Viu Cometh Chapter 81: Scraps from the Table Chapter 82: A Fool's Errand Chapter 83: The Little Ghost Chapter 84: Stolen Honeycakes Chapter 85: Breathe Chapter 86: Beneath the Palace Chapter 87: Red Pebbles Chapter 88: Common Men Chapter 89: Love and Duty Chapter 90: Nightmares Chapter 91: Earth and Sun Chapter 92: Love and Creation Chapter 93: Until My Last Breath Chapter 94: Fruit and Flower Chapter 95: Two Days Chapter 96: Small Comforts

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Chapter 30: End of Childhood

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In the morning while they were getting ready for the day, Nasreen pulled Aisha aside to question her more about the story the scroll contained.

“Tell me this new story you read,” teased Nasreen, “and I will tell you about the desert dweller I met yesterday.”

“But they said all the desert folk were killed except the Princess!” said Aisha.

“These Locusts lie,” said Nasreen. “They will also kill you if you let them see that scroll.  Make sure that parchment stays hidden.”

“I will,” said Aisha, pulling off her sleeping clothes.   When she laid her undergarments at the foot of her bed for inspection like she did every day, she noticed the damp feeling between her legs, and the red staining the cloth.  She began to cry.  Her first courses had begun.  If her mother was alive, this would be cause for celebration.  There would be a ceremony to welcome her into the next phase of her life – the nation would rejoice.  Now it only meant she was in more danger.  And that her childhood was over.

Nasreen hugged her close. “It’s alright, sweet Aisha.  It is a natural thing.  Don’t be afraid.”

“I miss my mother, Nasreen.  I miss my mother,” sobbed Aisha.  

“I know she is not here, but I am,” said Nasreen as she stroked her hair.  “You can cry if you need to.  Transition and growth aren't easy in the best of times, and these are not the best of times.”

“What will the Holy Mother do when she sees?” asked Aisha.

“She can’t see, Aisha – she is blind.”

Aisha choked on her sobs mixing with a bubble of laughter, and Nasreen’s shoulders began to shake as she stifled her own laugh.

“She will be coming soon,” said Nasreen.  “We will see what she says, but what can she do?  This is a rite of passage that all of us born as women must complete as we grow into adulthood.  Don’t let her know you have been crying.”

Aisha straightened herself and wiped her eyes.  Nasreen brought her a cloth damp with water from the shared basin.  “Clean yourself.  I have dried moss and cloth you can wrap it in.  You can put that inside your underclothes to absorb the blood.”

“Thank you,” said Aisha, and did as Nasreen showed her.

The High Priestess and the girl who served as her eyes made their way to the part of the room where Aisha and Nasreen’s beds were.  

“There is blood,” the Eyes said to the Holy Mother.

“Good, especially since she works in the brothel with the filthy men,” said the High Priestess.

“No, Holy Mother.  It is Aisha who has begun her courses.”  The girl smiled and nodded at Aisha.  “These are your first, aren’t they?”

“Yes,” said Aisha, looking at her feet.

“Praise The Lady,” said the girl.

“There is nothing to be praised,” said the High Priestess.  “This is only the beginning of trouble for any woman.  The beginning of pain and the responsibility to overcome.  The ability to produce offspring.  And the responsibility to do whatever is necessary to not produce offspring in this time.  There will be no infant birthed into this hell in my lifetime, Aisha.  Do you understand?  We cannot trust the men of the Locust to be fathers.  We cannot trust them to be anything other than parasites and devourers.  They are consumed by lust. They cannot control it.  So we must control ourselves.  We must control our bodies in any way we can.  We must defend our wombs from defilement of evil.  Some of us can control our desires better than others. So, I would watch the company you keep.”  She nodded pointedly in the direction of Nasreen, who also dropped her eyes to the floor.

“But how can we control what another thinks?” asked Aisha.

“You cannot.  But your future is only determined by yourself.  Do not allow yourself to be weak, or to become a victim.  Weakness will always be taken advantage of in this environment.  Do not expect love or affection.  You are no more than a warm hole to these men.  Do not forget it.  Your children will not be your own, for all belongs to the Locust King.  Any child born to a Temple woman belongs to the Temple, and he can do with them as he wishes.  And Goddess forbid your child be female – to be female is a curse in this day and age not a blessing.  But you do have an advantage, child. No man will have you when you reek of ink and sheepskin.”

Aisha nodded silently.

“As you know, women who are bleeding cannot be present to serve in their normal duties.  The men who serve the Locust feel our blood is unclean rather than a renewal of life.”  She shook her head as if she did not understand.  “Today, and any day you bleed you shall not serve.  Baraz shall be informed that you shall not be performing your duties until the end of your courses.  I am sure he will not be pleased. So, you will have to work harder when you return to the library.”

Aisha thought of the scroll she had tucked into her bedclothes, then the horror that Baraz, the High Priest of the Locust, would be informed of her most private rite of passage in life. That he would be informed every month for the rest of her time at the Temple, no matter how long that would be.  Her stomach churned, and she felt an ache in her lower abdomen like she had eaten tainted meat.  She clutched her stomach.

“Holy Mother, Aisha does not look well.  She is pale, and her stomach appears to be causing her pain,” said the girl serving as her Eyes.

“I would not expect any more from her,” said the High Priestess.  “She is not strong enough yet to handle being a woman.  She was too young and immature to be taken as a servant to The Lady.  I did so as a favor to her dying mother.  Aisha, do you best not to bring shame upon her.”

Aisha felt her cheeks turn hot.  “Yes, Holy Mother.  I will do my best to be strong.”

“Remember the suffering of our Goddess: how she was held in captivity and never gave herself to the captor,” said the old woman.  “She is our example in suffering.  We do not complain. We let the pain pass through us. We do not become a burden so that we can serve Her people.”

“Yes, Holy Mother.”

The Priestess and her Eyes moved on to continue their inspection.

“Pain is not uncommon with our courses,” said Nasreen as she dressed for the day.  “Sitting in the hot baths can help.  Also willow bark tea, but only in small amounts. Too much can cause too much bleeding which will make you weak.  In some ways it is good the Locusts consider us unclean – it gives us time to rest.  Otherwise, they would work us to death!  Take the next few days to lay in bed and do nothing.”

Aisha nodded and laid back down on her cot.  The blankets felt soft around her.

“It is funny, these men.  They are afraid of some blood that comes without a wound while they kill men in the bloodiest of ways.  Their leader tells stories that he drinks the blood of their enemies… but somehow this blood from our wombs that creates life – that is black evil magic that can destroy the world!”  Nasreen made a face to illustrate the monsters women become once a month.  Aisha giggled as she lay in bed.

“Rest, you deserve it.  Your body is changing from child to woman.  You now have the ability to be a mother, to be a goddess!  You have nothing to be ashamed of.  This makes you powerful!  Even Baraz will be scared of you – at least for the next week, anyway!” laughed Nasreen.  “Men are always afraid of what they do not understand, and this – THIS is a MYSTERY OF CREATION!  I know if your mother was here, she would give you sweetmeats and oranges and honeycomb.  I will see what I can find for you while I am out.  I don’t promise anything, but my sweet desert prince may be able to find something at the palace…”  She winked at Aisha.  “I pray to The Lady that he will return with as much passion as he did yesterday!”

All Nasreen’s chatter soothed Aisha’s mind.  She was tired.  It had been months since she had been left alone where she felt safe. While nowhere was truly safe in Adyll for her, the women’s dormitory in the middle of the day alone with only the other women who were also in their courses seemed like paradise.  The other two women were on opposite ends of the large room, and both were preparing to go back to sleep once the room had cleared.  Aisha rolled on her side and pulled the scroll from its hiding place.  She should be undisturbed until the noon meal, and no one could see what she was doing.

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