1 - Forest Shenanagins

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[Saturday, May 14, 2163]
[Southern Burundi > Somewhere above a forest > 01:13]

In a time in which human evolution has caused about 12% of the population to lose the ‘pinky toe’, in one of the more unvisited parts of an increasingly less remote region, an aircraft with nearly silent jet engines and optical camouflage landed in a clearing in the woods. It landed vertically much like a helicopter, and gently set itself down. Inside, a man and a woman walked towards the rear door, which was large enough to accommodate a moderately sized military truck. They glanced at each other with the kind of understanding that arguing siblings have when their parents make them hug it out until they agree to stop being asses to each other.

The man spoke first. “Well, Emi, this is probably a bad idea...”

The woman glared back at him. “First of all, don't call me Emi, I've told you that a thousand times already. Second, If you hadn't taken that stupid bet, this mission would’ve probably already been finished... by the agents suited for it. Everyone knows not to take a bet against Michelle. The only reason I'm coming is to reduce the chances of you getting killed or captured, though I can't promise I won’t hurt you a bit myself.”

An obviously automated, yet distinctly feminine voice followed, <<At least wait until after the mission to do so. Flying out with half of the crew would mean I'd have to make a report, which is something I really do not wish to do.>>

The man replied, “You can just auto-fill and submit the thing in like 8 seconds.”

“Jesse, just because it's easy for Rinoa to do so doesn't mean she wants to. Anyways, why don't we start by NOT DYING!?”

“What do you mean ‘she wants'? She's a machine.”

Moments later, the clicking of guns could be heard and two small gun turrets inside the ship turned themselves towards Jesse. <<I can make the report say that you died heroically and the only one who would know otherwise would be Emilia, and after that comment, I do not ‘think’ she is going to say anything. My readings indicate that she is quite angry with you. Furthermore, it only took 0.86 seconds for me to write the report. I currently have not submitted it>>.

“Would ya look at that, a machine that understands feelings better than you. That’s impressive, and not in a good way. Let's get this mission done before I decide to kill you. The only other one who would know better wouldn't say I had anything to do with your death. She might even make it sound like you did something good.”

“You two...”

Simultaneously, two voices answered,
<<Go ahead, finish that sentence>>
“Go ahead, finish that sentence”

Jesse abruptly stopped speaking, removed a pistol from the holster on his hip, and pressed the red button along the wall to lower the rear-loading ramp of their aircraft. “We should probably get going.”

The pair of people left the back of the aircraft, entering the woods around them as the rear ramp closed itself.

[Saturday, May 14, 2163]
[Southern Burundi > “Transactiance” Outpost 3 > Detention block 1 > 02:42]

A woman was lying down, tossing and turning atop what she found to be an extremely uncomfortable bed. She glanced around her 'accommodations' and at the open cell door which was the only gap in the beige tarp that comprised the 'walls' of the 'room'.

She sat up and looked into a cracked square mirror that was hanging haphazardly on a pin wedged through the tarp, her auburn shoulder-length disheveled hair and sleep-deprived eyes gazing back at her. The semipermanent scowl which she’d become accustomed to seeing, also known as ‘resting bitch face’ reminded her of her own dissatisfaction as her as she muttered to herself. can't believe those assholes modified a prison cell and had the balls to call it a room. Making a cell three times larger and adding a tarp and a shitty bed does not make it acceptable living quarters for an agent. Seriously, where did I go wrong? I just wanted a job with cool shit that I could brag about. This isn't cool AND I'm contractually obligated to NOT brag about it. This is not winning at life... this is the opposite of winning at life!”

She twirled the keys to her own room/cell on her fingers and heard the sound of a heavy door opening. The voice of one of her colleagues could be heard echoing off the cement walls of the structure. “You got company. I guess you actually might have work now since there are people here to watch. Have fun. As for you two, you can enjoy your stay in our local 'iron bar inn'.”

Three items could be heard falling into a bin just outside of her 'room', followed by the ‘kachink’ of cell doors opening, closing, and locking could be heard.

She heard two voices afterward, that of a man, and a woman, apparently not exactly happy with each other.

“Well Jesse, you've done it again. If we weren't in different cells, I'd be kicking your ass right about now”.

“And how many times would you have theoretically kicked my ass today? I'm pretty sure we're at about half a dozen now... at least. So, who do you suppose our captor was talking to? Think someone is in the cell with the tarp”?

“Probably. They don’t seem to have a good rapport based on the situation. That cell door was open though...” Emilia replied.

The woman who was lying around moments ago sat up and made her way to the open cell door. She leaned on it and looked in the direction of her new roommates (captives). “I can’t believe someone bothered to come to this place. I have an even harder time believing that they got themselves captured. This is really something. So, you two don't strike me as the 'strong, silent types'. How the hell did you end up in a cell in this dump”?

Emilia replied, “Not-so-funny story actually...”

[Saturday, May 14, 2163]
[Southern Burundi > “Transactiance” Outpost 3 > Front Gate > 01:53]


“Jesse, the plan was to go in from the west side where the guards are lazy. Would you mind explaining to me why we're walking around to the south side and main entrance”?

“I've only gotten to see our base's front gates, and I wanted to see how another agency comparesagency's compares to ours. Is that too much to ask”? Jesse walked through a pile of bushes and abruptly stopped.

Emilia walked right into him. “Why'd you stop? We're almost at the point of no return, you having second thoughts or something”?

Jesse looked at the red dots at his feet, and realized there was another on his forehead. “No, we already passed the point of no return, and I think that possibly wanting to see the main gate of another agency's outpost is possibly just a bit too much to ask.”

“Please tell me you're kidding....” Emilia went silent as they were momentarily blinded by spotlights. They were already at gunpoint beforehand and it wasn't long at all before they were surrounded, relieved of the vast majority of their weapons, and swiftly escorted to the detention block.

[Saturday, May 14, 2163]
[Southern Burundi > “Transactiance” Outpost 3 > Detention block 1 > 02:47]

The woman looked at her captives in exasperation. “Wow, that wasn't a funny story at all. That guy's a dumbass. Jesse's his name right”?

Jesse finally turned in her direction, giving her his attention, and grinned “Yeah, that's my name. And what would a pretty woman like yours' name be”?

Jesse received not one, but two unpleasant stares; one emitting a piercing hatred from the cell beside him and one showing obvious disgust from the open cell opposite him.

Emilia asked in his stead “since I have the impression we may be here for a while, we might as well know each others’ names. First name or even a made-up name is fine. I just don't want to have to call you 'hey lady' or ‘yo, bitch’. You know what I mean? I'm Emilia, and as we've already established, the dumbass of the month is my colleague, Jesse”.

The woman stared at Emilia with interest while ignoring the traces of what may or may not have been jealousy she felt coming from her captive. It was a stare she was relatively used to, that of 'I have freedom and you don't'. “The name is Allison. That's my actual name, though you aren't getting any more than that”.

Emilia continued “That's fine. I have a name for you and that's all I wanted, though I can’t help but notice your... unusual accommodations. What's up with the tarp on the oversized cell”?

“Yeah, this place is ass. I complained about my previous accommodations which were only marginally better than the current ones...and that's no exaggeration. They don't exactly have different quarters for men and women, and I would rather not sleep in the same place as 9 men who constantly feel the need to have dick measuring competitions. As such, they found wherever they could to stuff me, and finally decided to just put me on permanent prison duty with my own set of house/jail keys”.

Jesse finally spoke up again “Well, that sucks. So it sounds like you are having a pretty crappy time here then”.

Allison nodded as she took out a tablet, “You have no idea... I thought I could see all the cool tech and do cool things or maybe brag about things in a nondescript way. Nope, can't do anything of the sort. I spend every day since joining this place regretting my life choices”. She then proceeded to watch random videos on her tablet.

Emilia's eyes opened wide “So, you feel like you're stuck in a rut huh, I know the feeling. I got stuck with this guy on a mission cuz he lost a bet”. She glanced over at Jesse and pointed to her own left hand, which was in the position of 'finger gun'. She then shook the same wrist... which... detached itself and her pointing finger fell to the floor with a thud. She picked it up with her other hand and handed it to Jesse in the other cell. Allison was still watching what were apparently cat videos, and paid them no heed.

Jesse picked up the conversation and Emilia appeared to be whispering something to herself. “So, if you could take it all back, or get out of this place, it's safe to say that you would”?

“Yeah, without question, but you should know, getting out of this kind of life doesn't just happen. Even changing agencies would likely result in death. Even if this place sucks, I can't exactly walk out”.

“How about running a bit and flying”? Jesse grinned.

“Unless you guys have some sort of 'brilliant' escape plan, which I seriously doubt since you're here in the first place, I don't think I'm going anywhere”.

Jesse glanced at Emilia “Well”?

Emilia stood up and leaned against the wall “About... now”. The ground shook as the shock waves of an explosion radiated through the earth. The lights flickered off and were replaced by red lights, undoubtedly a backup power supply.

Allison nearly fell over in shock “W-what the hell”!?

Emilia laughed “simple, we had a 'brilliant' escape plan. So, we'll ask again. 'If you could get out, would you?’ No is an acceptable answer, and we'd even let you live, but think about what your superiors would say should they find out we escaped on your watch.”

Allison laughed “You guys forget, I’m the one with the keys remember”.

Jesse pointed the finger-gun at Allison “Oh, we remember. You might want to move to the other side of the room. It'd be a shame to get hurt by accident. Allison ran into a corner of the room and listened to several clicks and what sounded like 2 shotgun blasts, the swinging of 2 cell doors, and an inexplicable ‘click’ sound. When she turned around, her former captives had already collected the contents of the bin outside of her 'room' and were standing over her looking down. The main question Allison had was 'how did they just get out' however, there were more pressing concerns, like what to do about it.

Emilia smiled “I'll make this as easy as possible. You can come with us and live. You can fight us and die with relative honor, or you can stay and cower in fear and possibly be executed, or get worse treatment or whatever the hell it is they do here. This is your one chance to leave. But I must warn you, if you show even the slightest hint of betrayal, we WILL kill you and dump your corpse”.

Allison whimpered at the sound of the threats that were more akin to an absolute fact than a possibility. Jesse readied his pistols “So, what's it gonna be dollface? Option one, two, or three”?

Emilia reached out her right hand to Allison and smiled while holding her reattached left hand in the finger-gun pose.. “Choice one, you live, choice two, you definitely die, choice three; you end up more miserable than you currently are”.

Allison moved before she thought and reached out to the hand outstretched to her. She was pulled into Emilia who whispered in her ear, “Now do exactly as we say, or I'll make good on that promise about dumping your corpse”.

Allison felt a chill run down her spine and her muscles weaken in fear. Emilia gave her directions as she held up her finger. “You are currently our hostage. Play the role and if you're lucky, we can get out without a shootout, now, hands up and above your head, and no funny business”. Emilia pointed what felt like an index finger at Allison, the tip of which opened revealing a hole. Allison complied as she didn't want to give any thought to what was in the gap that should have been flesh and bone.

The newborn trio made it outside and was nearly immediately pinned down by gunfire. Emilia frowned and questioned Allison “you aren't particularly fond of your colleagues, right”?

“HELL NO! If I have to hear another sexist comment or be told to make someone a damn sandwich again, I was probably going to shoot up the place myself”?

“Well, that solves that. Jesse, do the thing, ya know, the one thing I can always count on you to do” Emilia ordered.

Jesse grinned as he flipped a switch on his dual pistols. The LED lights on them switched from red to blue and he switched to a clip of ammunition which Emilia tossed him from... Allison wondered where exactly she kept it. She instantly lost such thoughts as explosive rounds rained upon their enemies from his left hand and explosions of frigid winds and anguished cries followed shots from his right.

They made it to an outer wall of the facility which was, unfortunately, impeding their path to freedom, as enemy reinforcements opened fire on them. Emilia turned around, firing her single finger in their general direction, though it wasn’t clear if she hit anyone. What was nearly immediately apparent to Allison was that Emilia was blocking bullets that would have hit her, and her arm should have taken at least five hits.

The next thing she remembered was an explosion behind her (she'd turned around to look at Emilia), and another set of explosions in front of Emilia. The firing ceased and Jesse grabbed her arm, leading her through a gaping hole where a wall once stood.

The group ran for about a mile before coming to a stop in a clearing. Lights from ground troops and the sounds of helicopters could be heard approaching their location.

Allison scratched her head “OK, so at least one of you has been shot, and we just reached an empty clearing. Please tell me that this somehow miraculously awesome escape comes with a successful helicopter ride”.

Jesse shook his head, grinning. “You explain Emi”.

“I told you NOT to call me that. Anyways, not a helicopter, we actually have something better”. She pressed on her ear. “Rinoa, open the rear gate and prepare for an immediate, and shaky, takeoff”.

Allison's jaw dropped as a door appeared to open in the middle of the supposedly empty clearing, revealing the inside of an aircraft. Emilia continued to speak “Rinoa, perform all relevant scans on the person accompanying us and initiate full cloaking”.

Allison was pushed inside of the aircraft as the rear ramp started to raise itself, just in time to stop the gunshots from those pursuing them.

Allison was thrown into a seat that was built into the wall of the aircraft as they ascended and hastily placed in a pair of wrist shackles by Emilia.

“I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but it's standard procedure. For all intents and purposes, you are currently our prisoner. I can assure you that you will be treated humanely so long as you comply. There are some ground rules we'll have to cover before we arrive. I hope you're comfy, cuz I’m not going to attempt to make this overly pleasant. Welcome to Team Lambda, by the way”.

“I GOT CAPTURED BY PEOPLE WITH A LAME-ASS NAME LIKE LAMBDA? FUUUUUCK MEEEE”!

Jesse took to the cockpit as the aircraft sped forward through the darkened sky, leaving the forests of Burundi behind.


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